With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, thoughts of romance can be both exciting and stressful. For many men, it also brings a reminder of a modern dating reality: ghosting – the sudden disappearance of a partner or date without explanation. While often framed as a “young people problem,” men of all ages experience it, both as those being ghosted and as those who step away. Understanding ghosting means looking beyond moral judgements and considering context, choice, and the inherent ambiguity of communication in today’s digital world.
Clinical psychologist Juan Korkie explains that ghosting is heavily shaped by the way we communicate online.
“Ghosting has become a convenient label for silence in modern dating, but the idea itself is more problematic than it first appears. The moment we use the word, we frame the interaction as unilateral: something was done to someone. That framing already rests on an assumption that often goes unexamined – that people are obliged to engage, to respond, and to explain themselves clearly and on time.”
In the age of dating apps and instant messaging, features like read receipts and online activity indicators amplify expectations of responsiveness. In pre-digital dating, disengagement was far subtler: unanswered calls, invitations that ceased, or natural fading of interaction.
“Treating every instance of disengagement as a failure to communicate imposes a moral obligation that has never really existed,” Korkie notes.
Statistics show ghosting is far from just a younger-generation phenomenon. According to Pew Research, roughly 29 per cent of adults report having been ghosted, including 21 per cent of those aged 50 to 64. Nearly half of all singles admit to ghosting someone themselves, highlighting that this is a shared experience shaped more by digital culture than by age.
“Much of the current conversation also assumes that ghosting is especially damaging for people over 40. That claim is often treated as obvious, but there is little solid evidence showing that the underlying psychological processes are fundamentally different by age,” Korkie explains. “What does change is the story told about it. Midlife daters are cast as more fragile, more insecure, more undone by ambiguity. That narrative says more about cultural anxiety around ageing and dating than it does about silence itself.”
Research supports Korkie’s view: the discomfort linked to ghosting stems primarily from vagueness, not age. Uncertainty prolongs negative emotional responses more than direct rejection, as the mind continues to search for closure. Individuals with a high need for certainty tend to be affected more strongly, which explains why responses vary more by personality than by age.
Ghosting is not a one-way street. Men, like women, are both affected by and engage in it.
“Disengagement doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Someone may choose not to engage because the interaction feels overwhelming, intrusive, too intense, or simply misaligned. Once the label of ghosting is applied, that entire relational field drops out of view,” Korkie explains. Recognising when a connection is not aligned with personal priorities – and stepping away intentionally – is not a moral failing, but a considered choice.
Dating Apps and Digital Culture in Dubai
Online dating in Dubai and across the UAE has grown rapidly, but it comes with unique challenges. Around 22 per cent of UAE users report sharing personal details with matches within minutes of connecting, which can escalate interactions quickly and make sudden silence feel sharper. Safety and privacy are also central concerns: about half of online daters report experiencing cybersecurity issues after connecting digitally. For men, this can shape how they interpret disengagement and influence trust in new connections.
Cultural norms around privacy, trust, and commitment further complicate interactions. While apps try to balance modern dating with local values, traditional expectations can make abrupt disengagement feel heavier than a casual swipe. Conversations that start promisingly often fade, leaving men unsure whether silence signals disinterest, caution, or a simple mismatch in communication style.
Navigating Ghosting with Confidence
Korkie emphasises the importance of perspective.
“The distress linked to ghosting is about obscurity. Silence leaves room for interpretation, and interpretation invites self-questioning. But obscurity is not the same as injury, and non-engagement is not the same as an attack.”
For men, this means recognising that being ghosted is not a reflection of personal value, and choosing to disengage can be done responsibly when done thoughtfully. Understanding context, setting boundaries, and interpreting silence without internalising blame allows men to approach dating with confidence and integrity.
Dating in midlife may involve sudden silence or uncertainty, but ghosting is part of a broader relational ecosystem shaped by communication norms, personal choice, and digital culture. Men who approach it with perspective, experience, and clear boundaries can navigate modern dating successfully, interpreting silence thoughtfully, disengaging when appropriate, and remaining open to meaningful connection.
